Lumpy and Rarity
by PrincessSara1998
Summary: Lumpy helps Rarity release a sneeze, and then asks her to return the favor. As for how they even met... I'll leave it up to your imagination.


Rarity just couldn't help but notice her nose becoming increasingly itchy. Her muzzle began to quiver occasionally, and her nostrils began to flare up slightly. She sniffled quietly a few times, trying to satisfy her itching nose, but it didn't work as well as she thought it would. Those mild sniffs weren't enough help; she considered rubbing her nose, but decided that it wasn't "ladylike" to do in public, let alone in front of Lumpy. Someone she knew barely anything about. But she couldn't concentrate on that too long, because she was feeling a sneeze coming on.

"Haah..." Rarity began, tilting her neck back a little as her nostrils continued to flare up. "Haaaaah, heeeeh..."

While the unicorn was gearing up to sneeze, Lumpy was talking about something, rather than acknowledging what was going on. He seemed to either ignore her situation, or be completely unaware of it. Given his low intelligence, it was hard to tell. But Rarity really didn't want to sneeze in front of him, as that would be the single most embarrassing thing to happen.

"Huuuuh, heeeeh..." Rarity sniffled again, but the sneeze was coming, and she was slowly becoming aware of that. She decided that the best thing to do was to warn Lumpy.

"Ehhhhh... excuse me, Luuuh... Lumpy..." Rarity said. It wasn't easy to speak due to her hitching breath, but she managed.

"Yeah?" Lumpy asked.

"I... I think I haaaaah... haaaaave to... Aaaaaaahhhh... sneeeeEEEEEZE..." Rarity inhaled. "Please, heeeeeh... help me..."

"Okay, but what do you want me to do?" Lumpy asked. "You want me to stop it, or get it out for you?"

Rarity was going to mention the first option, but she was slowly losing the urge to sneeze. So she went with the second option. "Theeeh... the laaaAAAAAH... the last one..." She lost her sneeze, but she regained her breath, although her nose was still itching quite badly. "I would have liked you to stop it, but it'd be a bigger relief if you would help me sneeze."

"Oh, what can I do...?" Lumpy thought to himself as he tried to figure out a way to get Rarity to sneeze. He quickly got an idea, however, when he saw a single, long feather on the ground. He quickly picked it up, looked over at Rarity, and began to stroke the feather right under her nose, tickling it.

"AaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH...!" Rarity's breath immediately hitched again as her nostrils reacted instantly, cringing in furious irritation. She tried not to tilt her head or neck back as she let Lumpy tickle her nose, hoping that he would be able to coax her sneeze out. "HAAAAAAAH... HUUUUUUUUUUUUH...!"

However, her nose just couldn't take it anymore. Rarity hastily turned her body away from Lumpy before she stood up on her hind legs, tilting her neck and upper body as far back as they could go as her entire nose rumbled, like a volcano about to erupt. As she did, Lumpy removed the feather from her nose and looked on in concern. He could tell that this was going to be a big one. And then, it finally happened.

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Rarity doubled over as she released the sneeze, which fired a large amount of saliva from both her mouth and nose. In addition to being unbelievably large and loud, the sneeze didn't sound ladylike at all, either. Lumpy cringed in shock from just hearing it; he knew she was going to sneeze, but he didn't know it was going to be like that.

"Ugh..." Rarity recovered from her sneeze and got back on all four of her hooves. She also brought up one of her front hooves to rub her nose as she sniffled repeatedly. She also blushed from hearing herself sneeze. "Oh, my goodness gracious."

"Wow. Bless you, Rarity," Lumpy said, still sounding shocked.

Before responding to the blessing, Rarity sniffled again as she removed her hoof from her nose, got out a handkerchief and blew her nose into it. She then wiped her nose a few times on it and spoke. "Thank you, Lumpy, for making me sneeze and for blessing me."

"Yeah, no problem. But I gotta say, that was a pretty serious sneeze you did there," Lumpy commented.

"I'm sincerely sorry," Rarity apologized, putting away her handkerchief. "I couldn't believe it myself. But I'm afraid I can't really control how I sneeze."

"Oh, it's okay. I know that feel..." Almost as soon as Lumpy finished saying that, his own nostrils began to flare up a couple of times, and he noticed. He sniffled deeply, but that didn't really do anything to help. So he rubbed his nose on the back of his hand, thinking that would be a better solution.

"Lumpy, darling, is something wrong?" Rarity asked, sounding concerned. She assumed that Lumpy needed to sneeze.

"No, I'm fine. Except my nose is itchy, for some reason..." Lumpy continued rubbing his nose for a few seconds, but then stopped when it was realized that it wasn't working, either. His breath hitched slightly as his nostrils flared up. "Ah... Aaaaah..."

Rarity looked almost suspicious, but then she realized exactly what was going to happen. Her eyes immediately widened, her blue irises shrinking to a much smaller size. Lumpy took an even larger inhale as he tilted his neck back.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!"

However, then there was a long pause. No sneeze, no further inhales. Lumpy had lost his sneeze. His breath returned to normal as he gained a look of disappointment.

"Aw, darn it. I thought I was gonna sneeze, but it was a false alarm." Lumpy said with a sigh. "I hate that..."

"Happens to the best of us, darling," Rarity responded. Then she looked over at the feather that Lumpy was holding, and got an idea. "Would you like me to help you release your sneeze?"

"Um... I don't know, Rarity..." Lumpy somehow knew what she was up to, and he wasn't willing to cooperate. "My nose is really sensitive and ticklish, so pretty much anything can make me sneeze. It doesn't help that my sneeze is really, really loud..."

Thinking that she wouldn't take "no" for an answer, however, Lumpy quickly changed his mind. He offered her the feather that he was holding. "But I guess I'll let you make me sneeze."

"Very well, then. Generosity is my middle name, after all," Rarity responded with a smile.

Using her magic, she levitated the feather out of Lumpy's hand. She then raised the feather right up to Lumpy's nose and began to stroke his nostrils gently.

"Oh, God..." Lumpy thought to himself.

As much as he wanted Rarity to make him sneeze, he was actually worried about the sneeze itself. He could feel the sneeze returning to him already, and the first warning signs were already showing up. His snout began to quiver, and both of his nostrils began to flare up in irritation. His breath began to hitch as Rarity tickled his nostrils.

"Aaaaah... Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh..." Lumpy tilted his neck slightly back, but tried not to do it too much. He thought that if he did, then the feather would stop tickling his nose and he would instantly lose the sneeze. That actually wouldn't be a problem, however, because the sneeze was already on its way. "AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAH... AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH..."

"Rahh... Rarity... Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh..." Lumpy wanted to warn Rarity about what would happen, but his hitched breaths tried to keep him from doing so. "I think I'm... AaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... GONNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...!"

"It's alright, Lumpy, you don't need to warn me," Rarity said as she continued to tickle Lumpy's nostrils. "I can already tell what's going to happen." She didn't just state her opinion; it was perfectly clear that Lumpy really, really couldn't take it anymore. His nose was shivering constantly, and his nostrils were flaring up to several times their original size. "Would you like me to stop?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... YES..."

With that, Rarity removed the feather from Lumpy's face. He almost immediately turned away from her so that he wouldn't sneeze on her, and then he tilted his neck as far back as possible as he gave a final inhale. And then, it came.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Lumpy released an absolutely monstrous sneeze, shooting his neck forwards. The sneeze was loud enough to be heard from several miles away, and strong enough to cause the ground to shake for a few seconds. Rarity cringed from hearing the sneeze, since it was much too large and loud for her to tolerate. She wasn't mad at Lumpy for releasing it, however, since she was pretty sure he just couldn't control how it turned out to be.

Right when he had finished releasing the sneeze, Lumpy sniffled and rubbed his red nose with his forefinger repeatedly. He could clearly see the shocked expression on Rarity's face. She couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Oh, my Celestia!" she said. "I must say, that was quite the sneeze you did there, Lumpy!"

"I know..." Lumpy sniffled again, still rubbing his nose. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize," Rarity replied. "I was sure that you couldn't help yourself. And bless you."

"Thank you," Lumpy said as he continued to rub his nose. Once he had started, he wouldn't stop for a while. "Oh, and thank you for getting my sneeze out for me."

"You're welcome." Rarity then proceeded to get out a handkerchief - a different one than the one she had used after her own sneeze - and offered it to Lumpy. "Would you like to use this handkerchief?"

"I think I'll be fine, but..." Lumpy finally removed his finger from his nose, then took the handkerchief and blew his nose on it. He then started wiping his nose with it. "Thanks, Rarity. I'm probably gonna need this for a little while..."

"Like I said, darling," Rarity replied, "generosity is my middle name." She then looked back at Lumpy, who was still rubbing his nose with the handkerchief that she had given him. "But would you please wash that before you give it back to me?"

"Don't worry, I'll definitely do that," Lumpy said. "I promise, I won't forget."

Rarity breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Thank you."


End file.
